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I wasted no time, apart from putting my shoes back on now that nobody was watching. The key was so simple I could probably have picked that lock with the back of a teaspoon, but I was still very slow at that point and this saved me at least three minutes. Plus, I had no teaspoon on me. Never do. ‘I’ll just stir it with my dick,’ as the Dutch prophet Youp van ‘t Hek says.First I did those things MI6 drills into you, inasmuch as you can drill anything into me in a mere two weeks. I checked for a security system or any kind of cameras, hidden or otherwise, I locked the door from the inside and I produced the white gloves I keep in my back pocket. I wasn’t technically anyone’s butler right now, but those gloves were thinner than a single cotton sock and at this point there was at least one in virtually every pocket I owned. Really, I’m like a balloon clown but with white gloves. Serious, actual, REAL spies who do not have a plausible explanation for keeping gloves on their person at all. I saw her swat down more than one ruffian who made a grab for her breast or buttocks, and then help him to his feet, dust him off and bring him a drink on the house.Mandy evidently took a shine to me almost at once. We are both pretty big people. I do not ever recall asking her about her politics, but she proved her patriotism enough times that no one could doubt it. I met her during the first week of October, just before the fight up the road. She came and sat at my table and guzzled some of my beer just before closing time, wiping her face with her apron. The tavern had served a mix of farmers and mechanics, as well as subalterns and non-coms in red coats. I did not see any Germans that night or any other at the Ox."No Hessians?" I asked her, with my hand on her broad thigh."Never," she said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "First one that came through that door made a grab for me, and I smashed him in the mouth with that small keg of brandy over there. He left spitting.
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